Cosmic Country’s Udder Invasion!
Dialog And Story For The Show All Written By Daniel.
START SET 1*** ‘Indian Love Call,’ by Slim Whitman house music.
Our story takes place in the rolling hills of Tennessee, the Harmony Farm thrived under the four McDernald brothers. Their pride was their cosmic soil, unmatched in all the known world. The brothers: Daniel, symbol of Wisdom, sharp as a hawk; Mustang, embodiment of Courage, bold as a charging bull; Bronco, bearer of Compassion, gentle as a summer breeze; and SugarLegg, paragon of Perseverance, steadfast as an oak. Their land yielded CORN sweeter than nectar drawing buyers from afar, from sea to shining sea. For many decades going back to when Dern McDernald Sr. Sr. first opened Harmony Farms in 1869. The secret for the McDernald Brothers’ family soil lay in their "cosmic care," a nurturing bond passed down from ancestors. Howyadern. Life was bountiful for the McDernalds. The brothers rejoiced in laughing over hearty suppers as their fields glowed under the Volunteer State’s stars as a half moon graciously shone bright from on high. Everlasting smiles all around!
Old McDernald Had A Farm > Half Moon Night > Maggie’s Farm > Cosmic Country Gardens
Scene 2: ‘Moonstruck Menace from the Stars’ 3 aliens in narration, no songs.
One moonlit night, as the brothers shared stories in the family barn, strange lights began appearing in the sky growing larger and revealing vessels of strange presence! *CUE UFO DESCENT WITH HAZE WITH GREEN LIGHTS* A blinding light split the Tennessee sky in two hovering over the barn and all of Harmony Farms’ Cosmic Soil.
Tall, shimmering aliens emerged, their leader ZORATH declaring, "Your soil holds the key to reviving our barren world. Our world was once alive and flourishing with high frequency wonder! Yesterday’s splendor is now gone with the wind and we must save our home sphere! We come to claim your ‘Cosmic Soil’ as our own. We will take no deals on the soil. Not even 3 for 20.” STONER ALIEN CAROLYN chimes in “ You know whats even better than 3 for 20??? 4 for 20…” ZORATH: Now, we have traveled 777 light years to arrive here and we are tired. We plan on an Udder Invasion at first glance of the dawn once we sleep and hit our neurologically implanted Rosin SmartPens " The cosmic soil, they revealed, pulsed with an energy their planet craved. Mustang gripped his pitchfork, Daniel analyzed the threat, Bronco ached for the aliens’ plight, and SugarLegg vowed to protect every grain. Each brother stood facing the call to defend their beloved soil. Their peaceful world, mother to all farms in all lands, the world over would be forever changed, and for the worse. Through some celestial power, dark visions took them over LIGHT CUE, tossing them into a trance of worry. Could it be? That the 4 stoic McDernald brothers were on the verge of losing their minds.
Lose Your Mind* > Country Boy
Scene 3: ‘Doubts in the Starlit Barn’
In the late hours of this troubled and wretched evening, doubt crept in the heads of all four of the McDernald Brothers.
"How do we fight star-beings?" Daniel cautioned, his wisdom seeking reason. “There must be a way to overpower them!” Mustang vying for strength, courage tested by the unknown. Bronco urged discussion, compassionate for peace, “Surely, we can help them see reason!?” SugarLegg refused to budge for their legacy” I’ll die before they take a single grain!”.
*CUE MITTY AND BLUE LIGHTS* In this true moment of despair, a strange pulsing aura started to glow from the back of the old barn. It was peeking through the open lid of a rusty toolbox belonging to McDernald Sr. Inside, glowing bright soft blue, was their grandfather’s journal, echoing through the hallways of their minds whispering softly in a familiar voice: "Howyadern, my four brave sons. As it always was and will always be, remember that the soil’s strength lies not in the earth from which it comes, but in the love of the heart that tends it." The herald of Sr.’s words steeled them, knowing that the Aliens planned to attack in the early morning, the McDernald brothers were reinvigorated!
Mustang steeled his bravery, Daniel crafted a plan, Bronco opened his heart, and SugarLegg anchored their resolve.
Chaos had called, and the four brothers feverishly planned their defense strategy through the night. Only armed with their tools of trade and an unyielding spirit, determined that they would fight at all costs to keep the Cosmic Soil safe.
Snake Farm* > Weathervane* > War Pigs > Weathervane (Reprise)
END SET 1*** – 20 MINUTE INTERMISSION
START SET 2***
At once at early dawn, the aliens advanced, their beams scorching the Tennessee fields.
*PAUSE NARRATION; CUE 5 ALIENS AND 5 FARMERS FIGHT*
But guided with the wise words from Dern McDernald Sr., the brothers stayed strong and turned Harmony Farms into a stronghold.
Mustang led bold charges, dodging blasts to protect the soil; Daniel devised traps by miming his hands to confuse the aliens; Bronco mended damaged fields, even aiding SugarLegg from off of the soil, forging even more brotherly trust.
Neighbors rallied, bringing plows and wagons as allies. Tests mounted, fields burned and silos rattled but the brothers’ values wove together, their bond as strong as the soil’s spirit.
It Came Out Of The Sky > John Deere Green > ‘Bein Green
*CUE UFO DESCENT AND ALIENS WITH LIGHT-SABERS AND FARMERS FIGHTING
The battle peaked in the great barn, a chaotic clash dubbed “The Dern Ol’ Barn Burner" for the sparks and roars of combatants and comrades both. Aliens stormed in with glowing weapons; the brothers fought back fiercely:
Mustang guarded the soil stores, Daniel outsmarted alien tactics, Bronco shielded the vulnerable, and SugarLegg endured relentless assaults. Beams singed beams, hay ignited, and dust swirled through smoke. Zorath cornered Mustang, demanding the soil. As the family barn groaned, the brothers grew weary that they may lose Harmony Farms forever…
Prairie Spin > Fire > Back in Black > Brain Damage
The fighting paused as the barn teetered, forcing a truce. Bronco steadied his hand and his heart, finally finding a resolve from the sheer chaos of the Barn Burner.
*CUE BRONCO, ZORATH AND OTHER ALIENS TO FRONT OF STAGE…
Bronco, with compassion, offered Zorath a handful of glowing soil. "Test it," he urged.
Touching it, visions flooded both sides of the Udder Invasion. All of the aliens and farmers at once came to recall the truth found in Dern McDernald Sr.’s book the night before: THE COSMIC CARE WAS LOVE—the boundless devotion the brothers gave their land, family, and even foes. Infinite and shareable, it couldn’t be stolen. Mustang lowered his defenses, Daniel nodded wisely, SugarLegg held firm in hope, and all saw the ordeal had forged unity through the frequency that is most Cosmic: LOVE. HOWYADERNNN!
The Boppin’ Martian > Tell Me I’m A Lover > Turn On Your Lovelight > Blue (Da Ba Dee) > Dance In The Desert
*CUE UFO DESCENT AND BLUE LIGHTS*
In harmony, the brothers shared their cosmic soil, teaching the aliens to nurture their own lands with love. Zorath’s people left as friends, promising to return as kin. The farm flourished anew, fields thriving under Tennessee’s shared sky. The brothers, forever changed, tended their soil, knowing true abundance flows from love—endless, like the stars above.
Thank God I’m A Country Boy > The Gold Rush
END SET 2***
ENCORE: Promised Land
